I hate this boy for making my heart grow with every second I think about him.
But I'm starting to wonder if he has ever really existed, if we ever was real. He seems too good to be true. He seems like picked out of a dream.
Everyday I'm trying to find him, still I'm not sure if I want to find him. To afraid of what I might find. Afraid that my discovery will change my perfect picture of him. To afraid that he will no longer be everything that I want. Everything that I love. I've been through this once before. And it didn't end up well. So I know how it feels. I know how it will feel if I find him. My heart will not break, because it's already broken. It will... die. I don't know. I think that maybe the hunt for him has become more thrilling than the find will be. But I hope not. I hope you will always stay the way you are in my mind. The way I want you to be. The way I love. But I think I might be more in love with the thought of you than the real you. Unfortunately. But you'll always be with me, and I will never stop looking for you. So if you see a girl with red hair and changing, searching veiled cat-eyes, it will be me.