Jag är en tjej (wow) som är typ 16. Jag skulle inte säga att jag är precis som alla andra. Men jag är heller inget särskillt. Jag är annorlunda, men jag vet inte om det är bra eller dåligt. Jag är trött på folk som bara låtsas vara något de inte är och gör allt för att passa in. Så meningslöst!! Vem vill egentligen passa in?? Man ska synas, inte bara vara en i mängden. Det är det som kommer att ge mig en framtid. Jag vet inte hur min framtid kommer se ut, men jag önskar att den kommer vara fylld med sång och musik. Men jag kan inte säga mer...
I will try to say this as true as it is.
Don't call me a liar and don't judge me.
This is hard to admit since it is so dear to me. It is a part of me.
What I am is only a mask
you don't know me.
You think I am strong and can carry everything, but I'm only hiding behind a wall.
I must be the best actor in the whole world because not even my friends and family see through my charade.
But friends, that is not what you are
you are only a rope holding me to this form.
But I don't know who I would be without you.
I would be me, but what more?
I can't tell you the truth.
I'm living in a lie.
You are so naive and think that everything is fine.
It's not.
There are three explonations:
1. You don't know because you don't care
2. You are too stupid to notice
3. I don't let you know.
And family, you're not any better.
I smile, but when you don't see i cry
I have never been good enough for you
and will never be.
So I'll stop trying.
I love you but I can never look you in the eyes because I'm so afraid you will find out the truth. So don't look at me because then I don't know where to go. I get so lost.
I'm so pathetic.
Just stay away, I might be contagious!
I am such a failure.
I'm trying to be what everybody wants, but i end up being nothing.
Since life won't come to me,
I'll try to find it
but it's hard when you're trembling in the dark.
I fall in love with dreams.
It's the only place where anybody can love me.
I must be the worst joke ever.
Because that is what I am
A joke.
All the time I'm trying not to cry. So I smile.
And it's those fake smiles that are pushing me deeper down.
Many times I have almost taken my life.
But I am to weak.
I see things that don't exist
Illusions of my mind.
But sometimes they really are there.
I can't explain my life any further.
It is too complicated.
At least right now.
I just wish I could take it all back.
I wish I could go back to the day I was born and stop it from happening.
That would save me all this pain and missory.
That would save me this life.
I know you don't believe me. You think I'm just another complaining person looking for attention. I'm sorry I wasted your time.
But I know the truth, and you too
